


I like the sky

by BenThighway



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenThighway/pseuds/BenThighway
Summary: Just a little thing I wrote about a different Ballum reunion. Hope you like it :)
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Kudos: 24





	I like the sky

The blistering cold wind hit the back of his neck like needles as he walked out of the funeral parlor. The night was older than it was before. The usual afternoon lights escaping into darkness of sleeping houses. A soft glow slightly luminating the dozing square blanketed Callums home and brought a piece to walford that hadn't been present for days or even months. It seemed as the world dreamed, everything was calm and quiet. Anger escaped peoples lungs as they rested their heads and slipped into a world of dreams. Callum, however, was not one of them.   
As he finished the filling left behind by jay, he ventured out but before he dragged his legs up to his home, he decided to go for a walk. For the past few weeks he couldnt sleep in his bed very well if at all without Ben. "No point without you, is there?" His legs guided him around until he noticed a tense figure in the park. Ben. The golden cotton of the street lamps casted their light upon the side of his face as he bowed his head while sat atop one of the benches. The first thing Callum noticed was how he was bouncing his leg up and down and tugging at his bottom lip, a clear indicator that he had something on his mind. That's when he noticed the single tear run down his cheek. Despite everything that had happened, the lies, the hurt, the pushing away, at the end of the day Callum loved him to much to leave him like this.   
As if approaching a wild animal, he gently glided towards the shorter man and rested himself next to Ben, making sure to give him space. He didnt say anything, he didnt think he needed to. By now, Callum new Ben well enough that sometimes he just needed someone to stay and just be there, to feel not so alone. The older man slowly slipped his coat of and gingerly placed it over Ben's shoulders. For the first time since he had arrived, Ben tilted his head up to look Callum in the eyes. There it was. The same dopey smile callum always had plastered on his face that Ben had missed for so long. His features were soft and laced with sleep; his lips and cheeks rosy from the cold; his hair slightly blowing in the wind, free from gel; his eyes ocean blue and endless, captivating. Callum was a drug for Ben. He couldnt ever get enough of seeing that face. He redirected his gaze to the floor and let out a breathe he didnt know he was holding.   
After a few minutes, Callum stood up. Ben's heart began to race as he thought callum was going to leave him here, alone, and this bubble he was in would pop. Instead, Callum slowly slipped to the grass floor and stared up at the sky. Moments later, Ben joined him but laid a little closer than intended but he liked it. Their eyes flickered shut as they both indulged in the innocence of that moment. It was as if the whole world had dissipated and it was just them. Alone. Here. Now.   
"I love the night sky" callum said, barley more than a whisper, breaking the silence that had comfortably settled around them like a shield from their emotions. "Whys that?" Ben asked. "I dont know. I think that it is comforting to know that you are looking up at the same sky as the ones you love no matter where they are, who they are with, how you both feel. It makes everything else vanish and you are left with your heart and soul." "Soft" Ben joked. Soft. Callum was definitely soft. And there it was again. That smile but this time accompanied by an intoxicating laugh. It was neatly sewn together by love, admiration and kindness. Soft. "It scares me sometimes. To look up there and realise how small you are." "What's your biggest fear?" Callum quizzed but immediately regretted it. He knew that Ben wanted to keep his weaknesses hidden and private. "Sorry, shouldn't have asked that. I-" "Lonleyness." Much to callums surprise, ben answered. This was huge. Ben was opening up and   
letting callum in. Callum stayed quiet, urging Ben to continue. "I guess that's why I push people away. I think that if I push people away then they dont have the power to make me feel alone. If i do it to myself then that's me, I decided and have control. I'm scared. Im scared that one day someone is going to make me feel so alone again and I'll be the same little boy I was before." Ben's voice broke. He was too tired to put up the act right now. "Well, your not alone, Ben." Callum started, "I'm here. I wont ever, ever leave you alone Ben, I swear it. You need to let yourself be in love. I meant what i said before, you are scared to fall in love. To be in love is to loose control of the situation, to give your all to someone that you know they could easily break but trust them enough not to." Nothing filled the air for a few moments. The only thing to be heard was the swayed of the leaves and the boys shaking breaths. "Do you trust me?" Callum dared to ask. All his heart rested on the answer to that question. "Of corse I do..... I trust you with my life callum. You are so kind, and gentle, and soft and perfect and that's why I push you away. I cant break you, Cal" "I am broken. And so are you. But I get you, Ben. I understand that you dont want to ruin me but I am stained and damaged and cracked. I need you, all of you. I dont care if you break me or I get hurt because I would, all for you." Both men had sat up now, staring at each other dead in the eye. "I was in the army, I was in an explosion, I was abused, I was bullied, heck, I even shot mic!" "Wiat, you shot mic!?" Ben chuckled, letting his tears flow down his cheeks. Even in this open park, he had never felt more safe. "When I first came here, long story" Callum and Ben chuckled now, embracing the fleeting moments they had left in this time unless something happened and fast. "Listen" callum grabbed Ben's hands and held them in his own. "Either you can leave us in the past and we can both be in pain, I wont stop loving you, or you can let me in and we can be happy together. Whatever you do, I will be when ever you are ready and I will always, always love you." So much weighed on this question as silence fell. Callums eyes pleaded with Ben's to let him stay in Ben's world and him in his. "Callum, I-I love you too" ben checked out as sobs broke from his lips and he brought his hands up to cradel callums face. They shared a passionate but soft kiss that shared hundreds of words that couldnt be said but were meant. This was it. The start of a new. The start of the future. Together.


End file.
